Can the host family assign cleaning for the whole house?

No. Housework duties are limited to tasks connected to the children. General household cleaning, cooking for the adults or caring for pets and gardens are not au pair duties — occasional, voluntary help is a courtesy, not an obligation.

Is the au pair allowed to have visitors or a partner?

House rules on visitors are set by the family and should be discussed before matching. Reasonable rules are normal; a total ban on any social contact is a warning sign.

Can an au pair quit early?

Yes. Contracts typically allow termination with around two weeks' notice, and immediate termination for serious cause. Visa implications depend on the country — some allow a family change within the same stay, others require a new process.

Who is liable if the au pair damages something?

That's what liability insurance is for — one reason it is required or strongly recommended in every program. Minor everyday breakage should be treated as normal family life, not billed to the au pair.

Rights & Responsibilities

Rights and Responsibilities of Au Pairs and Host Families

A successful au pair stay rests on both sides knowing their rights and taking their responsibilities seriously. This page lists them side by side — as a common baseline across programs. The binding details always come from your specific country's rules and your written contract.

The au pair's rights

A private, furnished room and full board free of charge
Pocket money at or above the official rate, paid regularly and on time
Compliance with weekly and daily hour caps — including babysitting
At least one fully free day per week and paid holiday per program rules
Time to attend a language course and to practice their religion
Valid health insurance for the entire stay
Privacy: the room is the au pair's personal space; passports and documents remain in the au pair's possession at all times
A written contract and the right to terminate it (usually with two weeks' notice)

The au pair's responsibilities

Carrying out the agreed childcare duties reliably and punctually
Light housework related to the children, as agreed
Respecting house rules, family routines and the children's safety
Communicating problems early instead of letting them escalate
Keeping visa conditions: no additional employment where prohibited, respecting the permitted duration of stay
Treating family privacy confidentially — including on social media

The host family's responsibilities

Providing room, board, pocket money and insurance as required
Respecting hour limits, free days and holiday entitlements
Treating the au pair as a family member, not as staff
Enabling language course attendance and social contacts
Providing a safe environment and clear emergency information
Registering the au pair with authorities where required

The contract: your shared safety net

Never start an au pair stay without a signed written contract. Good contracts specify: names and addresses of both parties, start and end dates, duties and weekly schedule, pocket money and payment date, free time and holiday, insurance responsibilities, language course arrangements, house rules essentials, and termination conditions. Several countries publish official templates — links belong in every family's preparation folder (see Resources).

When things go wrong

Most conflicts are about unspoken expectations: hours creeping up, duties expanding beyond the children, or too little family connection. Address issues in a calm conversation first, referring to the contract. If that fails: agencies offer mediation and rematching; on matching platforms, both sides can search for a new match during the notice period. In cases of serious violations — withheld pocket money, confiscated documents, harassment — the au pair should leave, seek help and contact the authorities. Our safety page lists warning signs and steps.